Friday, June 19, 2015

Bonding with your child: A must read

Hello dear readers,

I believe you had a great week.

In my last post I said I will post something about Bonding. I have that post today although I would like to caution that I am not a psychologist nor and fancy profession, but I am a mother and I would like you to visit Chris Mauki’s website and you will learn a lot. His website is in the list of my favorite sites, on the right side of my blog.

The day I was told that I am pregnant, I got shocked, it was so unexpected and extremely terrifying. I got home and I cried myself to sleep. I woke up at night and I prayed and I started talking to by daughter and my first words were “I am sorry”. It may sound so unrealistic but from that day I knew I fell in love with her and we have not stopped talking ever since.

I gave birth through C-section and I was so calm before and during the operation, my BP was well until I heard her little sweet cry and when they brought her to my face and I touched her white soft chubby chicks I started crying and I heard the doctors stay, please hurry up, her BP is rising. It had to rise, the LOVE of my life had arrived how could I be calm? My heart could not handle the happiness calmly anymore.


The truth is that not every mother experiences this because we all have different birth stories and others are so traumatic that you do not get to bond instantly but that does not mean it is the end but just the beginning of a life time, love adventure.

What is bonding?
Bonding is the intense attachment that develops between parents and their baby. It makes parents want to shower their baby with love and affection and to protect and nourish their little one. 
Scientists are still learning a lot about bonding. They know that the strong ties between parents and their child provide the baby's first model for intimate relationships and foster a sense of security and positive self-esteem. And parents' responsiveness to an infant's signals can affect the child's social and cognitive development (Information processing, Intelligence, reasoning, language development and memory.)

Dr. Chris Mauki in his post this Thursday said, “Wengi wetu tumekosa mapenzi ya wazazi wote au mzazi mmoja, tumekosa usalama na hali ya kujihisi kutosheka tukiwa na wazazi wetu, hali hizi zote huweza kuleta matokeo mabaya wakati wa makuzi yetu na hata tunapokuwa katika mahusiano yetu.( Most of us have missed the love of both parents or one parent, we have lack security and we feel unsatisfied with our parents, all of these conditions may result in negative consequences as we growth and even when we are in our relationships)
This is why it is very important for a parent to make sure that we work on nurturing the bond with our children. With mothers it can be automatic because of breast feeding but with dads it is something to be worked at, and although it can be automatic at the beginning it can definitely be affected if not taken care for.

But bonding is a process, not something that takes place within minutes and not something that has to be limited to happening within a certain time period after birth; it is a life time commitment.

How do children bond?
·         Touch becomes an early language as babies respond to skin-to-skin contact. It's soothing for both you and your baby while promoting your baby's healthy growth and development.
·         Eye-to-eye contact provides meaningful communication at close range.
·         Babies can follow moving objects with their eyes.
·         Your baby tries — early on — to imitate your facial expressions and gestures.
·         Babies prefer human voices and enjoy vocalizing in their first efforts at communication. Babies often enjoy just listening to your conversations, as well as your descriptions of their activities and environments.
How can a dad bond with a child?
  • Bottle Feeding; sometimes dad forms a special bond with baby when handling a middle-of-the-night feeding and diaper change
  • Reading or singing to baby
  • Giving the baby a bath
  • Mirroring baby's movements
  • Mimicking baby's cooing and other vocalizations — the first efforts at communication
  • Using a front baby carrier during routine activities
  • Letting baby feel the different textures of dad's face


This is why it is very important to make sure we balance our time with social media and concentrate with bonding with our children. Giving your child your time is more important than any toys you will ever buy for them. They learn from us, let us be their first teachers before the meet the hash world.

Sources:

Happy Parenting.

ATM 
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