Hello dear readers,
I believe you had a
great week.
In my last post I said
I will post something about Bonding. I have that post today although I would
like to caution that I am not a psychologist nor and fancy profession, but I am
a mother and I would like you to visit Chris Mauki’s website and you will learn a lot. His website is in the list of my favorite sites, on the right side of my
blog.
The day I was told that
I am pregnant, I got shocked, it was so unexpected and extremely terrifying. I
got home and I cried myself to sleep. I woke up at night and I prayed and I
started talking to by daughter and my first words were “I am sorry”. It may
sound so unrealistic but from that day I knew I fell in love with her and we
have not stopped talking ever since.
I gave birth through
C-section and I was so calm before and during the operation, my BP was well
until I heard her little sweet cry and when they brought her to my face and I
touched her white soft chubby chicks I started crying and I heard the doctors
stay, please hurry up, her BP is rising. It had to rise, the LOVE of my life
had arrived how could I be calm? My heart could not handle the happiness calmly
anymore.
The truth is that not
every mother experiences this because we all have different birth stories and
others are so traumatic that you do not get to bond instantly but that does not
mean it is the end but just the beginning of a life time, love adventure.
What is bonding?
Bonding is the intense
attachment that develops between parents and their baby. It makes parents want
to shower their baby with love and affection and to protect and nourish their
little one.
Scientists are still
learning a lot about bonding. They know that the strong ties between parents
and their child provide the baby's first model for intimate relationships and
foster a sense of security and positive self-esteem. And parents' responsiveness
to an infant's signals can affect the child's social and cognitive development (Information processing, Intelligence, reasoning, language development and memory.)
Dr. Chris Mauki in his post
this Thursday said, “Wengi wetu
tumekosa mapenzi ya wazazi wote au mzazi mmoja, tumekosa usalama na hali ya
kujihisi kutosheka tukiwa na wazazi wetu, hali hizi zote huweza kuleta matokeo
mabaya wakati wa makuzi yetu na hata tunapokuwa katika mahusiano yetu.( Most of us have missed the love of both parents or one
parent, we have lack security and we feel unsatisfied with our parents, all of
these conditions may result in negative consequences as we growth and even when
we are in our relationships)
This is why it is very important for a parent to make sure that we work
on nurturing the bond with our children. With mothers it can be automatic
because of breast feeding but with dads it is something to be worked at, and
although it can be automatic at the beginning it can definitely be affected if
not taken care for.
But bonding is a
process, not something that takes place within minutes and not something that
has to be limited to happening within a certain time period after birth; it is a life
time commitment.
How do children bond?
·
Touch becomes an early
language as babies respond to skin-to-skin contact. It's soothing for both you
and your baby while promoting your baby's healthy growth and development.
·
Eye-to-eye contact
provides meaningful communication at close range.
·
Babies can follow moving
objects with their eyes.
·
Your baby tries — early
on — to imitate your facial expressions and gestures.
·
Babies prefer human
voices and enjoy vocalizing in their first efforts at communication. Babies
often enjoy just listening to your conversations, as well as your descriptions
of their activities and environments.
How
can a dad bond with a child?
- Bottle
Feeding; sometimes dad forms a special bond with baby when handling a
middle-of-the-night feeding and diaper change
- Reading
or singing to
baby
- Giving
the baby a bath
- Mirroring
baby's movements
- Mimicking
baby's cooing and other vocalizations — the first efforts at communication
- Using
a front baby carrier during routine activities
- Letting
baby feel the different textures of dad's face
This is why it is very important to make sure we
balance our time with social media and concentrate with bonding with our
children. Giving your child your time is more important than any toys you will
ever buy for them. They learn from us, let us be their first teachers before
the meet the hash world.
Sources:
Happy Parenting.
ATM
